Jay Speis

Jay Speis

I am a free roving design slave used for the sole condition of gracing one spread of every Lunchmeat issue with orgasmic eye candy. Thousands of years ago, the great creator of this wonderful publication saved my life by rescuing me from the crumbling shell of a burning high-rise apartment building. I am thus committed to a life debt of servitude and loyalty for the glory that is and and always shall be Lunchmeat, much like Chewbacca's life-debt to Han Solo. Although slightly less furry. With less spaceships. No. More spaceships. Despite my obvious lifelong obligation to dedicate my existence to Lunchmeat, I also have many other hobbies such as crocheting, yoga, meditation, larping, recreational drug use, youth support counseling, baking, collecting late 40's era vacuum cleaners, and collecting Upper Darby Police Dept baseball cards.

Question 1) VCRs owned (how many VCRs do you have in your posession):
I own no VCRs. I read the tape with my eyes and capture the film and 100x the speed and efficiency of a VCR.

Question 2) Five must-see-before-you-croak videos:

  1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  2. Lawrence of Arabia
  3. Escape From New York
  4. Debbie Does Dallas
  5. Flashdance

Question 3) First VHS you owned:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

Question 4) Most prized VHS:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie